Not too long ago, I was filling out an application for an internship that asked what my Christian faith looks like and how I live it out. It took me a while to come up with an answer. I wanted to present myself in a positive light, but at the same time wanted to be truthful about where I’ve been and where I am now. After several days of struggling to answer this question, a night of insomnia and prayer produced this.
I talk with God. My goal is to listen to Him and obey. I don’t always get it right, and sometimes I outright ignore what He is trying to tell me. I’m not perfect, but God is. I love God, and I aim to serve Him with all that I am.
I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. According to my mom, I accepted Christ at the age of two and a half. I grew up in the church as the daughter of two active members, my father being one of the elders of the church. It wasn’t until the age of seventeen that I developed a more personal relationship with Jesus when I attended TeenStreet, a Christian conference for teens in Germany put on by OM, also known as Operation Mobilization. It was there that I had a breakthrough in my faith, and, in many ways, it was a defining moment. I decided there that I wanted to give my life over to Christ to be a disciple. I wanted to do what God wanted me to do. It was there that the beginnings of my “listen and obey” foundation began.
During my four years of college, my faith has strengthened and grown. I developed strong friendships with other young adults who I have walked alongside for several years. We have encouraged each other, cried together, laughed together, prayed for one another, and studied the Bible together.
The all-women’s ministry choir I am a part of has been a large part of this growth. I have done life some of these women for three years, and others only a semester, but we have done our best to embody our sisterhood in Christ. We sing about God, His love, and work hard in order to perform our best so that God can use us as a tool of encouragement, love or hope for each other and our audiences.
My professors have questioned me, tested my faith, and pushed me to continue to grow in my faith. It is a common joke that Bible majors end up leaving with more questions than they came in with. If there is anything that I have learned from my classes, it is that Jesus is Lord and I don’t have the answers. It was a difficult lesson to learn, as I like to know the answers to things. However, after all of the theology, Bible and ministry classes, I have come to the conclusion that there are a handful of non-negotiable Truths and those are what I am going to hold onto. Jesus Christ was fully God and fully man. He was born to the virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead and buried. On the third day, He rose again. He died for my sins, and I am free because of it.
The campus pastors at my university have walked alongside me these past few years and have been extremely encouraging. When I had given up hope, the campus pastors held onto that hope for me until I was able to hope for myself again. They stood by me when my life was in flames, and they rejoiced with me when the Lord performed miracles. They remind me of the good things the Lord has done for me when I get discouraged.
I listen to God. I pray. I go through phases of just how much I read my Bible, but I do read it. I read other books, theology based books and devotionals. When I don’t have words to say, I find a worship song that fits the situation and I sing it. Other times, I draw, paint or dance. I journal as a way to communicate with God. I am by no means a perfect person; I make mistakes. I said that in the first paragraph. I go through different seasons. I am human and therefore am bound to err. Even in all that, I am a sinner saved by grace who loves God with all of her heart and wants to please Him in all that she does.
(UPDATE: I did get an interview, but both those in charge of the program and I decided that ultimately I was not the best fit for their internship.)